She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
