Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So. Much. Porn.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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