The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
