I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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