I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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