she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize