in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
