new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
