ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
