Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
