I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Randomize
