She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
