"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
