Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
