Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
