i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
