I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm at about main and main street
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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