She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
