shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
