Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
