Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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