Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
