does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
