Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
