i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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