You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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