Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
