i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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