So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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