Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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