Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Farmville is her only friend.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
