I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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