I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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