just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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