69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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