Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
