I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The ass gains better be worth it
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