found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
