you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize