Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
