If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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