I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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