just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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