Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
