I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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