I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
