take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
