I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
