like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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