it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
