Buhtt sex?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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