a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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