we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
