I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
