Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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