I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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