A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
