thus making me awesome and them whores
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
