i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
