Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
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