super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
