yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The adults are the big ones right?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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