i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
True college students do jello shots in the library
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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