i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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