Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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