are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why didn't you poke me back
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize