His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
