This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
