I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
