my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
