Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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