I bet he comes in French.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i think my cat just said my name.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Terrible idea I love it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize